Sometimes love is better the second time around. Second marriages are much more common in our modern society than they used to be, and any stigma associated with it has pretty much dissipated. Still, there’s no denying that a second wedding is a different entity than a first wedding, and there can be some question about the right way to handle aspects of the planning. Here are some things to consider when planning a second wedding.
Announcing the Engagement
Usually parents or close friends are the first to hear the news when a couple gets engaged. If there are no kids involved, there’s no reason your second engagement announcement should be any different. But if either you or your partner has children, they should be the first to know. Let them have a chance to process the news and celebrate with you before you spread the word.
Registering for Gifts
There are some differing opinions around a wedding registry for a second wedding. Some of the stuffier types would say that you’ve had your turn at wedding gifts, and people who bought gifts for your first wedding shouldn’t be obligated to buy you another. But really, no one’s obligated to get you a gift at any point, or it wouldn’t be a gift. Some of your friends and relatives may not buy gifts, but some will undoubtedly want to, so registering is a good idea.
Okay, so you may not believe this, children, but once upon a time there were strict societal rules about the color of dress a bride could wear on her wedding day. And though this may sound absolutely insane, the rules were based on whether or not the bride had had sex before the wedding. Yes, only women who had never had sex could wear white. Everyone else had to settle for off-white and shame.
Okay, that was a little sarcastic. What we’re trying to say is if you want to wear a blindingly-white dress, go ahead and wear it. If you want to wear purple or red or paisley, you should feel free to do so, too.
Second weddings do tend to be smaller affairs than first weddings, but that doesn’t mean you have to go without attendants. You may want to scale back from the twelve on each side you had at the first wedding, but a best man, maid of honor, and a couple of bridesmaids and groomsmen are perfectly fine.
Most people forego the traditional wedding reception activities that most people usually have on their first time around. Instead, consider going with something really unique and fun to set your wedding apart from the rest. You can purchase sparklers online and have them shipped to your house, then have your guests light them at the appropriate time. It’s much less expensive than hiring a DJ, and it will stick in everyone’s mind for years to come.
There are plenty of rules of etiquette surrounding weddings. Fortunately, as we evolve as a species, those arbitrary rules start to seem more like guidelines, or even like something to be specifically avoided. If you run into an unwritten rule about second weddings that doesn’t fit your vision of the ceremony, feel free to ignore it. Sure, Aunt Gertrude might gasp to see your white dress, but she’ll get over it by the time the champagne is served. Just like a first wedding, a second wedding is an expression of love between you and your significant other, so the two of you should call the shots.