6 Ways to Be a Boring Business

You want to walk into the latest trendy café and hear silence as you walk past the gray wall, up to the counter and order your drink from a barista dressed plainly and speaking in a monotone voice, uninterested in anything other than your order.
Isn’t that what every consumer wants? Not exactly. But if you insist of falling behind the times and becoming incredibly boring in the eyes of your customers, make sure to implement the following tips.
1. Stay off of Social Media
All these hip, successful companies are just trying to trick you. The hundreds of people they’re engaging in your community have nothing to do with the line outside their shop every morning. If you do decide to get one, make sure you don’t update it with rich, helpful information. Instead, just post your promotions and tell people that they better go to your store. That’s what bores people. They don’t want you to interact and make them feel like a person. They simply want to snooze past your various promotions in their News Feed.
2. Don’t Update Your Website
While you’re at it, set up a website but don’t keep it updated with relevant information. You should never update a blog with articles that will help your customers. Stay silent. People love it when companies are unhelpful and uninteresting.
3. Outsource Your Customer Service
Boring companies don’t value their customer. So, what does it matter if your customer service agents can’t speak English? People really enjoy trying to help foreigners understand what they are saying while they are already in a stressful situation (thus the need for customer service). Outsource this unneeded task to people overseas. It’s cheaper, it’s boring and it’s completely unhelpful.
4. Fit in With the Crowd
Nothing quite says boring like doing things exactly like everyone else. Find a big player in your industry and find ways to mimic exactly what they are doing. Your customers won’t notice your lack of innovation, and your business moves will be sure to keep them unexcited about your brand.
5. Neglect to Take Risks
Failing to make risky, bold moves in your marketing and innovation is not a wise thing to do. Being innovative will make your customers excited and it make your brand memorable. Marketing is the key to brand awareness and failing to take advantage of social media outlets can be harmful and could wind up giving you a poor reputation or none at all.
6. If it Ain’t Broke, Don’t Fix It
Your business has been generating the same amount of income each year since you opened 20 years ago. You don’t need things like social media, a website, personable customer service and innovative ideas. Things are the same, so it’s obviously not broken. Why try to improve on such a mediocre thing?
Are you satisfied with boring your customers, or do you want to take your business to the next level and really succeed? The choice is yours, and the outcome is based on the action you choose to (or not to) take.